Hebrews 4 kept on stressing about finding real rest in you. I dont remember exactly how it was worded but it sounded like a real good rest. Like a comforting, long lasting kind of rest. Please help me find that.
Hebrews 5 talks about some of the people who were punished by you because they stood up against your will. And had pride in them. It talks about lots of other things, but it made me kind of scared. I dont want to go against your will God. I know currently that is the direction my heart is taking me. I would simply love to have a baby girl, to seek companionship with her, share my love etc. But if we follow the logic that you can fix me, replace the messed up broken parts with "good" parts, then you can change my will. I agree that i have to come a certain level....i dont know exactly how to do that...but i am game. I am open to all changes you put through me (i hope...) or at least i am praying for you to open me in this regard. And then maybe substantiate a change in me if you want to. And if you dont, if you think it is ok, then i guess please reassure me that it is ok. I know i am supposed to trust you, and love you and all those things, please help me do that. And please help me know you.......I dont want to disobey you, it makes no sense to do so, and it wouldnt be right after all that you have done for me. Please please please fix me.
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