Please

Dear God

I dont want to hurt today

Can you please take it away

It is like for this hineous sin

I just cant afford to pay

Too many wounds in my soul

The flesh just refuses to heal

All these forbidden feelings

Which my heart continues to feel

Show me how to love Lord

To love others well , more than self

I bare my heart in front of thee

In your thoughts id love to dwelve

Isiah says that i am on your hand

Your name is etched on my heart

Maybe that is what is bothering me

The fact that we are apart

I want to love you more Lord

Please enable my heart to be yours alone

To adore you with every atom in me

My transgressions only with grace u atone

All these lessons you teach me

And i feel they might go on for a while

God please have mercy on me

Treat me like your loving, but faltering child

Psalm 25

[Teach Me Your Paths]

[OF DAVID.]

[25:1] To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul.

[2] O my God, in you I trust;

let me not be put to shame;

let not my enemies exult over me.

[3] Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame;

they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.

[4] Make me to know your ways, O LORD;

teach me your paths.

[5] Lead me in your truth and teach me,

for you are the God of my salvation;

for you I wait all the day long.

[6] Remember your mercy, O LORD, and your steadfast love,

for they have been from of old.

[7] Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions;

according to your steadfast love remember me,

for the sake of your goodness, O LORD!

[8] Good and upright is the LORD;

therefore he instructs sinners in the way.

[9] He leads the humble in what is right,

and teaches the humble his way.

[10] All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness,

for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.

[11] For your name's sake, O LORD,

pardon my guilt, for it is great.

[12] Who is the man who fears the LORD?

Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose.

[13] His soul shall abide in well-being,

and his offspring shall inherit the land.

[14] The friendship of the LORD is for those who fear him,

and he makes known to them his covenant.

[15] My eyes are ever toward the LORD,

for he will pluck my feet out of the net.

[16] Turn to me and be gracious to me,

for I am lonely and afflicted.

[17] The troubles of my heart are enlarged;

bring me out of my distresses.

[18] Consider my affliction and my trouble,

and forgive all my sins.

[19] Consider how many are my foes,

and with what violent hatred they hate me.

[20] Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me!

Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.

[21] May integrity and uprightness preserve me,

for I wait for you.

[22] Redeem Israel, O God,

out of all his troubles.

(Psalm 25 ESV)

Dear God

Dear God,

Please fix me. I am tiered. I am scared. And i give up. I dont want to rebel against you. I dont have the strenght, and i dont want to. You are worthy. Please fix me. My hearts desires. My anger. Jealousy. anger. hatred. covethness. God, it hurts so much, it bothers me SO much when i see Julie and David together. I dont even know why. He is a nice guy. Always nice to me. And i want Julie to be happy. Oh so happy. Please fix my mind and my heart. Make my heart understand what is true and real and good for everyone. Please dont allow this sick feeling or this chocking feeling at the back of the throat to come up. I know it is not a competetion. I was never in the race. So why does it feel like a loss. God, please fix this sadness in me. this vying for attention. This agony of loss. Didnt i mourn this already? Didnt i already tell my heart that i wont have Julie's time or attention anymore. Then why do i struggle for it?

God, maybe there is a lesson you are teaching me over here.....can you still pretty please take this pain away. Return my sleep.

Do i need to stay away from her God? Do i need to just keep on clinging? How do i decide? Please grant me the wisdom to do so. And the perseverence to stick to it. God, please allow me to love well...actually care for her. and for others.

Thank you

Unworry!

teach me to unworry
i will teach you to unhide
in the city where they don’t need x-rays
to see each others’ insides

The Sacred Echo

Most regular/common/essential prayers usually consists of

• Bless
• Protect
• Redeem
• Heal
• Restore
• Reconcile
• Renew

Nudnik-Yiddish word-Bothersome widow- Like a prowling (kind of irritating) grandmother- nagging

God uses natural things (sometimes) to communicate to us (Elijah's story)
We need to be quiet- silence our surroundings sometimes to listen to what God is saying

1. I LOVE YOU
2. Sing it again
3. How long
4. Read it again
5. You follow me
6. If you dont wear your crown
7. Surrender
8. Take care of my people
9. You are not alone
10. Awakened

1. I love you

When if comes to prayer, all too often i feel like a bat with a broken sonar. I go through life when something unidentifiable- a decision, an opportunity, a possibility enters my trajectory. I dn know how to respond. At the last possible moment i finally remember to cry out “God, is this a trap or a treat?

Some people call it faith. For me, its desperation.

God, whats on your heart?

In my mind, i know that ”God loves me everyday but it is far too rare to feel it in my heart

In my relationship with God, i feel like Dori (from finding Nemo). I constantly forget His love.

The bible is a series of love letters

Because ‘i love you” is not just a piece of information or one time revelation, but an invitation to transformation.

When Jesus said “it is finished”, never has so much been accomplished with so few words.

The story of the woman giving 2 shackles (all she could afford) . I used to read this story as a lesson in generosty and giving but now i recognize this as a love story. The woman gave everything not with any sense of expectation or entitlement from God, but with deep faith, breathless adoration and extravagant love.


2. Sing it again:

Does God ever get distracted listening to me? Does God ever get bored of my prayers?

The Lord bless you and keep you
The Lord make His face shine on you
And be gracious to you
The Lord life up His countenance on you
And give you peace

Story of kid being restless and father hugging and singing to him. The words sung by the father were not tiresome, rather they reminded the boy of his fathers love.

Words from scripture repeatedly

Thus says the Lord...He who formed you...Do not rear....i have redeemed you...i have called you by name...you are mine...i will be with you...I am the Lord your God..Your saviour...You are precious in my sight...You are honored...i love you...Do not fear

Definition of prayer” Keeping company with God”

Part of the beauty of prayer is not only hte request but the constant repetition.

Why pray: Because something inherent in us changes inside us when we persist in prayer.

3: How Long?

Third important part of prayer is waiting.

Some prayers you don't need to write down to remember, and others you dont write down lest you remember.

Thumbing through scripture, i cant help seeing waiting woven into the fabric of history.

The first to ask “How Long” was God himself in Exodus “How log will you refuse to humble yourself before me?

Two kinds of wait
-Great wait
-Personal wait
At times, the reality of “in between” is downright scary- that place of blind trust where the precepts of faith meet the narrow path of fortitude and movement is demanded though there is no definitive place to go but forward.

In between places create humility in our heart

John the Baptist knew Jesus, but still he questioned. When he was in jail, he sent a friend with the humble question to Jesus.

Jesus’s response answers to all the 6 davidic proclamations, but also adds a 7th one. He is the ultimate Messiah.

Jesus’s answer leaves me conflicted. I am comforted to know that he can read between the lines. When we place our deepest doubts and longings before him, he does not shrink back from our concerns- he answers us right back where we are, in language we will understand. But like John, i must also face the reality that which i wait for may not always come in this lifetime.

4. Read it again:

Cant get distracted by the other runners. Everyone has their own journey. No short cuts.

while some days rereading unleashes a cache of discovery, all too often weeks and months go by before i fidn something new. Yet the reward is worth the search and wait.

God does not take a one size fits all approach. Instead he is intensely personal

The question exposed something insdie me. My underlying fear that maybe God isnt really good. I began to recognize that mistrust in God was affecting my life.

Am i praying it safe?

I’m learning the importance of pressing God for more. I want all he has to give. I want his full work completed in me. I know that i see things dimly. i need the illumination.

5: You follow me

God was speaking and anchoring me in the truth that above all else the greatest calling in my life was not my Martial status or ministry, but simply to follow him.

Stop being distracted with the people around us.

Jeremiah 29:11 : God doesnt just have a plan for me, but a future too.

When my faith is tattered and i find myself doubting and questioning everything , i am reminded of the simple truth: You follow me.

6. If you dont wear your crown:

Some people pray as if their life depends on it, others live as if their prayers depend on it.

We may definitely need to take risks- for God.

What is this thing you’re calling me to? I dont understand. Even if i did understand, its still hard because i haven't done it before. The mountain feels steep, treacherous and scary. God, cant we go back down yet?

Revelations 3:11 “Hold on to what you have, so no one will take your crown”

If I dont follow God, God’s purpose wont stop. Someone else will do the task instead.

God doesnt want me to work for him with a sense of obligation, but iwth a sense of gratitude.

7: Surrender:

I can sense God wants to go deeper, peeling back the layers of my soul like a steamed artichoke knowing that at hte center its all about the heart. I begin to reflect on how many false positive prayers i pray to God, things i say but dont really mean.

What does it look like to fully surrender?

Prayer is the place where we hand things over to God on the deepest of levels, where he alone can see the exchange.Only after we surrender things to God on the inside can we truly hand them over externally.

All too often , surrender makes me wonder what God wants to take away.

Surrender means willingly giving something over...

No matter what we give up, we are given so much more.
Given that surrender requires wholeheartedly giving myself to God, what if bad things come or worse, what if nothing comes?

The greatest test of faith might be to desire God’s will in my prayer, instead of trying to manipulate Him and constantly wanting “my wish”

The nature of surrender is not external, it is internal. Surrender is not an exploit, something we do. as much as a renovation, something that is done to us.

8: Take care of my people:

Will you live with less so that others can live with more?

Trusting in God’s care when the future is unknown

Asking “God, what is truly important to you?”

Take care of my people!

Jesus asks his disciples to “tend to his sheep” as in his people.
True love translates pragmatically into caring for the saints.

It is often easy to measure material poverty by what someone does or does not have, it can be much more difficult to identify or measure relational poverty and the pain and lss that comes from being alone or without life giving relationships.

Perhaps God is persistant (in talking about care for the poor) because he wants his heart for the poor beating inside of us.

“Give me eyes to see people as you see them, ears to hear what you are speaking, a heart to love as you do, and hands to serve as you want to be served.

God calls different people to do different things. No cookie cutter formula.

The joy of listening to God’s voice and taking care of his people can not be contained.

9: Bring them to me

God asks us to bring our deepest worries and issues and tensions to Him.

I am reminded that some things are beyond understanding but God does not leave me there. He invites me to run back to him.

I’ve noticed that i’m getting bolder in the questions, doubts and pain i take to God in prayer.

If you could ask God anything, what would you ask?

Though ive seen God heal, i’m still afraid of hte dissapointment of he doesnt.

Sometimes God heals, sometimes he does not. While we can point to factors that contribute to one or another, healing remains largely a mystery. Healing also reminds a promise, i cant help but think of the vision John received while imprisoned on the island of Patmos: “Then he showed me a river of the water of life, clear as crystal, coming from the throne of God and of the Lamb, in the middle of hte streets. On either side of the river was the tree of life, bearing twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit every month and the leaves of hte tree were the healing of hte nations.”

the healing promised is not just physical but carries a more holistic meaning of making whole. Deep down, thats the pang of my heart, mabe the ache of all our hearts. God- make us whole. And maybe, just maybe when i respond to the invitation “bring them to me”, i become a little bit more whole myself.

10: You are not alone:

Some people never pray for themselves. I don't know the loss, the pain or the hurt she eperienced in the silence from God. As she shared, i couldn't shake the feeling that something inside her had died.

How do we respond when all we hear is silence?

We are prone to make agreements which are not founded in truth.

Tendency” I wont ask God for anything he wont give

I wont ask God for anything too specific, too personal, too meaningful.

Why me? Why now? Why this?

Elijah’s story. “I have had enough Lord”. Afraid. Honest. Exhausted. God got him a buddy.

Good prayer to request God to talk to you.

Self sufficeincy leads to disaster. Sarai and Abram story. Led to Ismael. Lots of trouble.

Even when we draw lines with God, he does not draw them with us.

Am i ready to erase those lines?




“I call them sacred echoes because I noticed that throughout my relationships, daily life, and study, the same scripturally sound idea or phrase or word will keep reappearing until I can no longer avoid its presence." -

“And like an echo, God often uses the repetitive events and themes in daily life to get my attention and draw me closer to himself."

“Slowly, God is opening my eyes to needs all around me. In Scripture, God revisits this issue of caring for the poor- an echo that repeats itself from Genesis to Revelation. The Bible acknowledges that the poor will always be part of society, but God takes on their cause. The Mosaic law of the Old Testament is filled with regulations to prevent and eliminate poverty. The poor were given the right to glean- to take produce from the unharvested edges of the fields, a portion of the tithes, and a daily wage. The law prevented permanent slavery by releasing Jewish bondsmen and women on the sabbatical and Jubilee year and forbade charging interest on loans. In one of his most tender acts, God made sure that the poor- the aliens, widows, and orphans- were all invited to the feasts.”

Radical Together

UNLEASHING THE PEOPLE OF GOD FOR THE PURPOSE OF GOD

1- Tyranny of the Good
One of the worst enemies of Christians can be “good things in the church”

• Aren't sin and Satan the worst of things?
• Our worst enemies are the ones which are “unknown” to us.
• We’ve laid down our defences against then way that the good can hinder the best.
• PUTTING EVERYTHING ON THE TABLE
• We are commanded by the gospel to go to God with everything we have and ask for directions.
• Am i really there? Am i ready to lay everything at the table?
• Amid all the good things we are doing, are there ways to better allign with God’s word?
• (Refer to book of James)
• Might include big sacrifices, or small sacrifices but this is part of the great commission.
• Downsizing our lives for a greater vision

2- The Gospel Misunderstood?
THE GOSPEL THAT SAVES US FROM WORK SAVES US TO WORK

• We need to realize that however much we give, it will NEVER be enough
• This world will never be “all-right”.
• One can never be radical enough.
• We are still ok though, because Jesus died for us
• Based on nothing you have done and everything Jesus has done, by grace alone though faith alone, God will declare you right before him.
• BUT
• We are saved TO work
• Whenever James uses the word “works”- he means it in a positive way (unlike Paul sometimes)
• When one accepts God, he begins to walk with God as a friend. We get a new life, full of joyful obedience and overflowing with love.
• Guilt is garbage- unsustainable.
• We live sacrificially not because we feel guilty but because we have been loved greatly and now we find satisfaction in sacrificial love for others. Not because we HAVE to but because we want to.
• Must avoid becoming “Mary”- Busy “do-ers” without spiritual input....or “Andys”- Claiming and testifying all the time but not really demonstrating it in life.

Chapter 3: God is Saying Something
The word does the work

• The word of God accomplishes the work of God
• Need to believe (examples from the bible) that the long term plan God has is “good”. Even if we don't get to see the results in our lifetime.
• In our current lives, we use bible as a tool. NOT TO BE DONE SO. It is so much more.
• Modern “pastors” use the bible as a starting point, then jump to other quotes and pop psychology and other material. As if the word of God is not enough. Truth is that the basic human problems have remained the same since eternity. We don’t need new techniques, we need the truth!
• God does not promise to bless our plan. He promises to bless HIS plan.
• (So the prayer must be to allign my plan with His plan...not vice versa)
• The key is to TRUST His word. (Scary thing this is- TRUST- FAITH).
• The Word doesn’t make everything easy (for sure). But it never promises to.

Chapter 4: The Genius of Wrong
BUILDING THE RIGHT CHURCH DEPENDS ON USING THE WRONG PEOPLE

• Belief in the world of God’s Spirit through God’s word in God’s people
• The initial church wasnt built of “professionals” and did the amazing work of spreading the truth. Jesus did not check resumes before getting his disciples. The idea is that the work of God is often done by not the fixed folks. That is encouraging.
• This is not a show. It is life. So it cant be scripted just right. There will be mistakes. And it has to be done by real people. No hypocrisy
• Performance has NOTHING to do with it. People have EVERYTHING to do with it. (It= spreading God’s word, saving folks, making disciples, spreading the truth)
• What is “enough” for me? At what point will i say “ok, any more i get goes straigth to others”?
• Huge church buildings are never prohibited, but never encouraged either
• Discussions with people who live with less resources show that they have a deeper trust in God. Those who have gone through persecution (material,physical, ideological) tend to seek God more as He is their last resort.
• Jesus never looked to talk to mega million crowds. He focused most of his energy on 12 disciples. Concentrated on them. The idea of quality vs. quantity.

Chapter 5: Our Unmistakable Task
WE ARE LIVING AND LONGING FOR THE END OF THE WORLD

• It is about taking risks for our faith. Living outside of the comfort zone for our self
• We are truly living for the end of the world- when Christ returns-because everything will be fixed then.
• The great commission was not to take it to as many people as possible..but to take it to all the people groups
• Since Christ has not yet returned, the mission is not accomplished
• Satan is definitely delaying it (cause once Christ returns, he will be out of action)
• The easiest way Satan can do it is by distracting and discouraging us. Or making us complacent.
• So, in we want Christ to come asap, our biggest goal must be to spread the word of God to all people groups.
• The focus needs to be local as well as international.
• Story of Baptist couple who went to Africa to evangelize, ended up being cannibalized. The next couple who went though ended up helping save tons of folks.
• Will i be wiling to give up some of the freedoms i have (alcohol, dressing,meat) if it means making me more “acceptable” to someone with another faith, so that i can then share my faith with them?
• What is the “heart of Christ”?
• Short term missions have a bad rep. But they do have a long term impact. Help strengthen the disciples.
• We are living- and longing for the end of the world!

Chapter 6: The God who exalts God
WE ARE SELFLESS FOLLOWERS OF A SELF CENTERED GOD

• Selfless because we “died to our selves”
• God -Trinity- CS Lewis concept of trinitarain dance
• Am i truly “loosing my life” or am i “sipping my latte”?
• What happens when my vision actually changes? When i see the future not based on “me” but on what God wants?
• God does not exist to cater to my needs!
• Lets show people the most biblical, holistic, clear and captivating vision of God we possibly can, and trust HIM to take care of the seeking.
• Idea of spreading the word...and then the responsibility of leading the disciples.
• Nothing advances the gospels better than true believers and their lives in action.
• Constant dependence on God
• Continuous prayers- really essential

Full spectrum of life. No putting God in a box. He ain't my genie. He is my creator.

“I have posted watchmen on your walls oh Jerusalem

They will never be silent day or night

You who call on the Lord

Give yourself no rest

And give him no rest till he establishes Jerusalem

and makes her the praise of hte earth

• We want to be people who give God “no rest”. Constantly ask Him. Pray.
• Prayers need to be a non negotiable priority
• Why are we involved in this? God doesn't need me. He could have used anyone. It is a blessing. We are involved in the great commission because we are loved.

The highest prize of our lives is HIS global praise.


Quotes

“God exalting men and women do not have time to waste their lives pursuing a Christian spin on the American dream.”

“We must be willing to sacrifice good things in the church in order to experience the great things of God.”

“A church is a community of individuals who have lost their lives to follow Christ. Surely it follows that we would be willing to lose our programs and our preferences, to sacrifice our budgets and our buildings, to let go of our most cherished legacies and reputations if there is a better way to make his glory known in the world.”

“At Brook Hills we have learned that letting go of good things is one of the hardest things to do in the church.” page 14

“The only basis for an act of radical obedience is God himself -the author, creator and ruler of our lives- commanding such action.” page 44

“What this means. then, is that church leaders are intended by God not to plan events but to equip people. Leaders do not exist to provide services but to serve people.” page 71

"Is it really possible to have all the trappings of the church and yet miss the heart of Christ? Is it possible for church people to be so focused on personal comforts and so fearful of potential cost that they virtually forget the purpose of God among all the peoples of the world?” page 79