Screaming out loud

There is a conversation going on in my head about images, action, statements and how they scream out loud of what is actually going on inside. I am talking about my situation. Do my words, actions and very much looks state to the world what i do not want to state to myself. Display my issues and vulnerability to the world when i do not want to look at them myself.

Had a few interesting interactions over the past few weeks in this regard

- Had a talk with Mr. Alex. He brings up homosexuality in general and proceeds on to say why he does not agree with it.

-Talking to Jim Ross on the phone. He proceeds to defend it....again for no reason or for no one bringing it up.

- Awkward interactions in general

So God, i a confused. I am unsure of what the path forward is, or should be. Should i worry about this issue. I dont want to tackle it. I sometimes want to back track...the scarf was hiding all the problems. But that might be it. it was hiding them, not fixing them. I wonder if in time it would have fixed them though.....

Please provide me some direction.

Thank you