Went to see the play last night. It was super intense. William Blake had some solid poetry going on.The play was about happiness...and how it is percieved to be happiness. A couple in confusion. The guy thinks that they had the best night of their life out by the hedges. The girl, is suffering from a potato sized tumor (her words), and is questioning it all. The mere presense of love. Was it ever true. Was it real. Did it really exist. All of this is kind of perverted by their Dean, who had set everything up, just to set it all up.
So, here are my thoughts. These kats were struggling for love and happiness. Trying to find true joy in a human relationship. There were lacks of communication, sometimes one did not fulfil the other, in their conversation one could detect hurt and sadness and despair.....signs of broken but real people.
It was an uncomfortable but applicable topic for me. How long have i struggled for, looking for joy and happiness. For that perfect relationship that fixes it all, the answer which resolves all questions....I think it is trusting you God. Just having that communication and trust thingy.
Wonder what people do when they dont trust. Well, i guess i really dont have to wonder. I know it. When i did not believe in you, or want to believe in you, or ignore you, i believed in myself. It was lots of pressure...good or bad...pressure.
I find it hard not to judge people. And then i feel terrible when i am judged. Ha! The ironies of ironies.
God, help me find the true joy that is spoken about.....the happiness in the heart.....the joy of the spirit....the wisdom of the soul. God, please help me actualize what is actually in store!
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