Dear God

Dear God,

Here is another writing rant to you. From a child so scared and so hurt, to a God so awesome and so wise.

I think i saw some of you this weekend. Really, me memorizing psalm 23, and then the lecture on sheep, and then finding a book on sheep. That is weird. I am ok with just accepting you looking down on me, and showing me some cool powers. Cant attribute it to anything else.

God, I am sorry i havent been asking you for too many things for myself. This pride issue is killing me. I am sorry. Please fix my heart and kill this pride in me. God, my heart is still hurting and i dont even know from what. I am fighting with these stupid convoluted emotions of jealousy and hurt and abandonment, and they dont even make sense. Please help me over come them.

God, I feel lonely. All alone. I know you are there, but ....i still feel alone. And it hurts more now. I request you, please either take this feeling away, this pain away, or allow me to find someone. God, whoever she is, wherever she is, please guide her so that our paths intermingle. God, if you dont want me to find her, then ....just take the desire away from me please. Please make it just stop hurting.

I dont want to be jealous God, but i know i am. Please help me over come it. Please let me be a friend to Julie, a true friend. Please cleanse my soul of all impure thoughts and desires, and help me to love her well...like a true friend. God, i am a nobody, but i really want to be close to you. I really really do.

God, Christina is a wonderful person. She has so much soul for the world. Please help her come close to you. If you want me to be useful for you in this regard, please let me know. I care for her so much....i just dont want her to be lost. I see her seeking you in nature, and in people and even in food. Please reveal yourself to her God. She is currently struggling with what she will do for the summer. Please help her figure it out.

God, please help Matt this week fight anxiety. And please let me be a good friend to him, who encourages him and let me have the right words to support him.

Please help me overcome my jealousy and abandonment feelings and pride.

Please help me figure out where i need to go and what i need to do in life.

Please keep julie safe in trinidad. And give her peace. And joy.

God, you know Freddy is a good guy. Please, if it is your will, allow him to think about you. If i can be used in any way, please enable me to do so. Use me God, in whatever way you want.

Please help this week be a good week for all of us. Please let me represent you as a true heir. Please let my faith be strong, my actions be loving and my heart be true and transformed. Please help me!

In Jesus name i pray